Christmas, by Betsey

The Christmas morning escapades beautifully captured by my sister:

"Despite how obscenely commercial Christmas is, I love every bit of it: the bright colors, the flamboyant lights, the music, the constant eating and drinking. It’s like Las Vegas goes on tour once a year and hits small-town America. Thank jeebus it leaves la Celine in all of her Canadian glory behind. Gag. Aside from a Celine Dion holiday album, not even the annual crew of over-zealous Jesus fanatics who, along with the Nazi priest who actually forbade us from saying "Happy Holidays" (incidentally the same priest who actually yelled at me with his fist in the air for wondering aloud about reincarnation in my CCD class), come out of the woodwork to drone on about Christmas losing its original meaning can chip away at my holiday glee.

Christmas has yet to lose its special feel, even though we’re quite obviously no longer a pack of rugrats. Newer traditions (drinking, Mrs. Guarraia’s cheesecakes, Cortylandia) intertwine with the oldest ones, but the basics are still in place. It’s about being with your family. Rousing up a good fire in the fireplace. The Boston Pops and waging battles with wadded-up balls of wrapping paper. Flannel pajamas, giggles and surprises. Hopes for snow on Christmas morning. Pancakes and scavenging for batteries. That unexpected something in the very toe of your stocking that you didn’t come across before. The nostalgia for the days when Santa Claus still weighed out the year’s deeds and (hopefully) determined that you had indeed been more nice than naughty.

My cumulative vision of Christmas when we were children looks like something plucked right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. The Christmas tree stood in the corner, its strands of tiny bulbs blinking red, orange, green and blue weaving festively through the ornaments. We made sure to set out cookies and a tall glass of milk for Santa, along with enough carrots to fuel the whole gang of reindeer through the rest of their round-the-globe night.

Night would fall on Christmas Eve, and our parents would try to hustle us to bed with the classic “Santa won’t come if you’re not asleep” threat; this is not helpful, however, when you’re a seven-year old insomniac. Instead of struggling to stay awake to see what happened, I remember actually throwing myself into a sheer panic fearing that Santa Claus would know I was awake and skip on to the next house.

In the end, it'd all go off without a hitch, and come Christmas morning we’d be up before the sun was. Partly because we were early risers in our youth, but most because I’d feel a presence, open my eyes, and see my sister’s eyeballs no more than one inch from my face. She’s now 21 and has yet to relinquish her role as the Christmas Day family alarm clock. Once she managed to successfully awaken her first victim (me, since my room was the closest), she then sprang into full-speed action, bouncing up and down and off the walls like a super ball. My sister is also the one person who shot into super ball mode not only opening her own presents, but when everyone else opened their own.

Once we recruited my brother, we’d take on the task of getting our parents up. After spending long and torturous minutes poking and prodding our parents as if they were lethargic cattle, they'd finally groan awake and we'd give our first cheer of victory. We’d race to the top of the stairs, wriggling around in gut-wrenching agony which was only compounded when we realized our dad had full intentions of taking a shower (and his sweet time).

So we'd listen to the shower run, the three of us sitting side-by-side on the very top step. We weren't allowed to go downstairs, of course, until our parents gave us the green light... at which point we'd take off at speeds rivaling the Indy 500. The one time my brother crept silently down the stairs to take a peek around the corner, my sister and I sat in breathless fear until he safely returned and whispered, his blue eyes huge in awe, "he came!"

Finally, the parents, freshly showered and yet back in their pajamas for the sake of the pictures (when every opened present was followed by "ok, now hold it up" and a flash), would slowly emerge from their bedroom as if they were ethereal beings gracing us with their presence. My sister, still bouncing, would squeal “Can we go down yet?” and before we even heard an answer we would be scrambling down the stairs and sliding across tile floors until we reached the family room.

To our delight, the carrots had always been nibbled, the milk was always gone but for a few drops, and just a few crumbs were sprinkled on the plate where the cookies had once sat. Some years, Santa would leave behind one half-bitten Oreo, and we’d marvel at it as if it were the freakin’ holy grail.

So while we're no longer kids and we now know that our parents - and now we, as well - suffer through daunting credit card bills, Christmas is still Christmas. Plus, our presents are still signed "from Santa". "

Happy Father's Day!

Keep fighting, Pops...Love you

I want one!

My sister recently introduced me to The Daily Puppy (http://www.dailypuppy.com/) where I discovered the perfect dog for me amongst my ooooh's and awww's: the Puggle. It is 1/2 pug and 1/2 beagle. They only get to be 15-30 pounds and just over a foot tall (perfect for laying on the couch/bed with me at all times). Puggles are known to be mild-mannered, playful, sociable, and affectionate - who could ask for anything more in a lil pup?! I've been really wanting a little tyke to tromp around after me of my own the past few months and if I had the funds, I surely would have bought one already - Just look at 'em!

How can you resist those eyessss and floppy ears and wrinkly face?? Adorable.

1 sheep, 2 sheep, insomnia, 3 sheep, 4 sheep, insomnia

I fear that my days of not being able to fall asleep have devilishly returned. It happened the other night as I watched my boyfriend comfortably sleep for 2 hours as I ultimately ended up folding laundry and watching tv instead of dreaming of better things. I have been in bed for 4 hours now and have failed to even come close to achieving la-la-land. I reflect on my high school days in amazement when I would stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning and wake up at 6 to get ready for school, then go until 2pm in classes followed by exerting my energy in either a practice or a game only to return home to complete my homework, stay up until 2 or 3am again and repeat the process all over on a daily basis. I do not want to return to those days. I love sleep. I am a serious napper and by that I mean I don't take your normal 30 minute nap... I am more of a 2-4 hour napper. I absolutely love sleep, which leave me to wonder why at night I cannot fall asleep when it's the one thing I absolutely want to do. I watch the hours dwindle down to when I have to wake up all the while calculating how many hours/minutes of sleep I am going to get and figuring out how I am going to make it through the day. I've cleaned my room, made to-do lists, wrote down random schedules, and flopped around a few too many times and yet, here I am, still no sleep, and less than 4 hours before I have to get up. I think it's time for some Lunesta or some other script that'll get me some quality Z's!

BINNNNGOOOO!

I've been unfaithfully attending bingo a la Foxwoods Casino since I turned the legal age of 18. You know, paying 15 dollars to spend time with 1000 old people stamping away at our bingo cards only to leave with nothing but a good time and some great memories.

Last night was different, though.

Jill, a virgin to Bingo, and I attended. Having the usual chatter about what would you do if you won. I randomly texted my boyfriend saying "I won!" completely joking around. Nonetheless, 30 minutes later, during the X-formation, I saw my last number show up on that beautiful tv screen. So I whisper to Jill "I won, Jill, I won" completely calm. And then the announcer said it, that beautiful, round number "G-58!" and there I go "BINNNNGOOOO"
... I was hoping Jill would chime in but I don't think she quite caught on that I expected her to.

Followed by my bingo came the "ohhhhh" disappointment of the rest of the crowd. The floorworker came over to verify my bingo card. Again, fear came over me. Did I make up a number? But then came the announcement "that is a good bingo...hearing no other bingos we have one winner for 700 dollars"...the lady comes back with 700 dollars in solid cash. I've never held that much money in my hands at one time in my life and it was glorious.

Finally, my days at bingo have paid off and I am one happy girl!

...and, yes, to all of you who have predicted what I might do with the money, I just bought 3 pairs of shoes :)

Happy Mother's Day, BernBern!

So I've been told I am BernBern, Jr. and you know what, that's fine, because I love that girl. Sure she gives too many details when they are not needed and I am gradually doing the same but she's got a big heart, works hard, and loves her family... if I can do that much, I'll be happy.

25 randoms that you probably don't care to know

1. I own over 30 pairs of shoes and have to keep myself away from shoe stores in fear of buying yet another pair.
2. I am amazing at "Wheel of Fortune" and should seriously consider being a contestant
3. My brother and sister used to refer to me as "Wayne" and also told me that I'd marry Saddam Hussein but I guess the latter won't be coming true
4. I scream and jump at the sight of a spider... 8 legs is just wayyy too many
5. I wore makeup before my sister who is nearly 4 years older than me due to her non discovery of being female until the tender age of 16.
6. My mom refused to buy me flare jeans until 7th grade until which I had to suffer with the forever-fashionable tapered Levi's...she also didn't buy me a real bra until 8th grade until which I had to wear sports bras and *shutter* training bras. who didn't love having a uniboob
7. I had braces, bangs, AND glasses in 8th grade
8. I once told myself I never had an awkward stage... but that was because I didn't realize that I was STILL IN my awkward years.
9. You could rattle off 100 movies and I've probably only seen 2 of them
10. I secretly get very excited every time I catch the numbers 413 (My birthday!)...such as on a clock or the random total of my purchase orrrr the milk's expiration date
11. My nicknames are: Lainey Boggs (after rachel leigh cook in "She's All That"), Lainey, Lainers...with or without the 's'...whichever you prefer, Ghetto Booty/G.B. (after my childbearing hips), L.E.^2 (after my tendency to have a boyfriend for a month before i get sick of him), Lanye East (after Kanye West), Mom (for being a 40 year old trapped inside a 21 year old's body), Sparky (for being lost and getting called back to attention)
12. If you tell me to look at something I am guaranteed to look the opposite way and by the time you get me to look where you originally intended me to, whatever it was has passed by and I missed it.
13. I visit approximately 5 websites on a daily basis: My email, FaceBook, My sister's blog, youtube, and PerezHilton
14. I am technologically disadvantaged. Being able to turn the tv on and the cable on at the same time is a major step in my life as is getting the dvd player in sync with video 1 in order to watch a movie.
15. I became a vegetarian back in high school mainly because I feel bad for the animals...my heart gets all twisted up when I know what they're really doing to them.
16. When I see a shoe store it's like there's a gravitational pull and my body subconsciously just goes toward the store.
17. Any time someone misspells a word I feel the annoying urge to correct them
18. I swear that an addiction to ice cream is in the Mattern genes as it has been passed down from generation to generation.
19. My favorite number is 17, my favorite finger is my pointer, my favorite color is blue and pink...it's a tie I'm sorry, my favorite show is Grey's Anatomy, my favorite band is Dave Matthews Band, my favorite ice cream is cookie dough as long as it has legit pieces of cookie dough in it, my favorite restaurant is Olive Garden solely for the salad and bread sticks although the entrees are fabulous as well
20. I would wear jeans to bed if it were socially acceptable
21. I expect my husband-to-be to shed a tear as I walk down the aisle ... I really don't feel it's asking all that much considering I will be honoring him with my presence for a very long time.
22. I took dance for almost 10 years including a brief stint in ballet, then tap, jazz, and Irish dance
23. My dad had me take golf lessons for 3ish years. My swing is amazing but I cannot hit the ball for the life of me.
24. If a grape or tomato or other random vegetable or fruit has a brown mark or dent in it, I refuse to eat the entire thing.
25. I have a mole on the top of my ear that you can only see if you pull my ear away from my head.

white face, maroon lipstick...hot

I had the unfortunate realization that I had a dream involving none other than Marilyn Manson (see below for full visual). There we were (me...Marilyn...people...) in an intimate circle as he was involved in a rap-off, a duel if you will. Thankfully the rap-off was not against me as I'm sure he would eat me after, enjoying every last drip of my blood. His "rap" was his deep nasty screaming sounding like death was surely near per the usual accompanied by strange body movements showing he is most definitely possessed by the devil himself.









I think I'd rather not dream anymore

Quick Catch-Up

Okay, so it's been quite a while so I'm going to sum up my past few weeks:

Part 1. I went to Spain (post-passport mishap)

Conclusion: fountains, bulls (saw hundreds), coca cola lite, tapas, really really old but beautiful buildings, pig legs hanging from restaurant ceilings (they like their meat fresh), clara con limon, Madrid, Segovia, La Coruna, Santiago ... if you need elaboration on any, feel free to ask.

Part 2. I turned 21!

Conclusion: Max Amore's, Lucky's, Ultra, drinks, drinks, drinks, and I absolutely love my friends: thank you to allison, jess, jill, erin, alisa, carrie, jason, dave, joe, steph, emily, brian, & tim for coming out on my bday night! And thanks to everyone else for all the bday wishes!

Part 3. The Here and Now

So now it's back to the norm - working and such. But Hallelujah! It's ice cream season (Michael's, DQ, the barn, hallmark's, friendly's, old lyme ice cream shoppe, take your freakin pick)!! AND Fred's Shanty is open and that can make any one's day absolutely amazing.

Last week I was able to spend a couple days up at the hospital with my dad as he went through his 2nd cycle of chemo. He's doing great so far - just more tired than usual and a little bit less hair. He keeps calling himself a penis head but the nurses like to call him daddy warbucks and I think I prefer the latter myself.

I'm still getting beat up in physical therapy 3x a week for my knee trying to avoid more surgery.

Tomorrow's my return to boys & girls club from nearly a month of not seeing those cute monsters. And that means my return to telling kids to sit down, be quiet, raise their hands, line up, sit still, sit normally, walk normally, don't run, keep their hands/feet/whole body to themselves... and, yet, I love my job.

Spain...not quite

Soooo yeah... I'm not in Spain. Disappointed does not even begin to describe how I feel at every moment the thought crosses my mind that I'm supposed to be there with my sister at this exact moment. But what can ya do except wait for that next flight out on Friday. A few days late, but I'll eventually get there. And this time, I'll get to JFK with the right passport and not the one with BernBern smiling back at me.

Congratulations Steph & Casey!

Presenting the Mr. & Mrs.Gorgeous dress!
First Dance
Steph & I!
Me & my date :)

Because the first time wasn't enough fun

dr: I think you need to seriously consider having surgery on this knee.
me: Do you think any more physical therapy will do anything for me?
dr: Seeing as you have already done physical therapy for this problem, most likely not, but if you would like to try some more, we can most certainly set that up for you and we can re-evaluate you in a couple of months. But, again, I feel that the only options left are to live with the pain for a very long time or undergo another procedure and recover within a year.

fabulous. absolutely fabulous.

So then I call my physical therapist to set up an appointment since I decided to give it another go because hell, why not. I'm talking with the receptionist and she asked me my name and she goes "Elaine, I thought that was you!"

I've been there so freakin much that they know who I am. She sounded like she was talking to an old friend that she hadn't seen in a while. 6 years later I suppose that's the "honor" I get. Not to mention last year when they were not accepting my insurance at the time, the physical therapist gave me a discount and only made me pay my regular copay ($10) and not my percentage of each visit (hundreds of dollars) that I owed him. #1 patient right here...jealous? And that was after the personal assistant to my dr. continued bonding with me 3 years after our first meeting... she is seeing justin timberlake this weekend at the casino- front row tickets. and she is no longer with the father of her son (I noticed the ring was gone, too)

So, another cortisone shot, a physical therapy script, and a surgery talk later... I'm still a crip

Hola, como esta?

In less than 1 week I will be completely submerged in the Spanish culture with my I-might-be-able-to-get-by Spanish level... and I can't wait!

doctors @$^**^%$#@ Part II

This doctor at Yale just keeps getting better:

My dad was able to get in touch with a doctor at Dana Farber, another institution who was running that trial, and that doctor informed him that the experimental treatment has been shut down nationally due to its toxicity. So that whore of a doctor down at Yale wanted to run a treatment program that had already been deemed too toxic to continue. She should probably be fired... and punched in the face... and in her babymaker...

In better news, though, the doctor at Dana Farber gave his opinion on a treatment plan and it's the exact same one that my dad is going to be starting on Monday with his original saint of an oncologist, which is much more encouraging.

doctors!&%@!#$!

Doctors have really started to disappoint me. I know that doctors are human, too, and that you cannot expect the world from them.

However...

Last year, it took 3 months of taking an ungodly amount of antibiotics, being laid up in my bed, missing and attempting to catch up on classes, feeling like shit nonstop, as well as undergoing all sorts of prodding, probing, painful tests for doctors to figure out I had an internal infection that then led to more post-infections. All that was needed to figure this out? A blood test.

My dad was once told by a doctor in NYC that he had 3 months to live and to basically go home and prepare for that. He is still here 6 years later after his triumphant battle.

Having been rediagnosed with non-Hodgkin's within the past month, he has been evaluating his treatment options. One plan was to go with an experimental treatment down at Yale. During his initial visit with this doctor, she told him if he made it through this treatment, she could guarantee him to be cancer-free the rest of his life. So, my dad, being the questioning lawyer that he is, asked what exactly that meant - 5 years, 10 years, etc. Her response: I'm not sure because the drug has only been in use for 2 1/2 years. What happened to a lifetime?

This same doctor also told my dad that several patients had been successfully involved in this clinical trial before. Just a couple of days ago, we found out that my dad would in fact be her first patient. In an extremely dangerous scenario, I do not understand how a doctor can feel right lying to a cancer-stricken man sitting right before her who is potentially considering treatment under her 'expert' guidance. My dad was so close to deciding to go with that treatment option and then received that blow to the gut. We can only hope that it's a gift that he didn't already sign on and begin treatment only to find this out.

The last I knew we are supposed to be able to trust doctors.

Not quite your normal child

Tonight, Jess & I came across some black mail type items from my childhood that were sitting in a box just waiting to be rediscovered. Some things we learned:

• I was a very angry child and pretty much everything annoyed me.
• I knew what fuck, bitch, asshole, dammit all meant and used them appropriately at age 9.
• I wish my sister had not told me that I had a bowling ball of a head in 2nd grade when I originally planned to grow my bangs out. Instead, it was another 8 long years until I got over that comment and said goodbye to those attractive, thicker stripe in the middle because of my widow's peak, glorious bangs.
• In 8th grade, I could have passed for 20.
• My boyfriend & I were 'in love' circa 2nd grade.
• I enjoyed wearing oversized t-shirts with sleeves down past my elbows as exhibited by my middle school parks and rec. basketball team photo.
• Allison, Betsey, & Greg did not like to invite me out to play tennis with them, as sadly established in my diary over several entries.
• I was a very detailed child...times, dates, prices, names were always included in my very important journal scribbles (I must have inherited that from BernBern).
• My handwriting was better in 2nd & 3rd grade than it is now.
• Greg tried to be a, and I quote straight from the chronicle itself, "homey G" and continually said "yeah, baby," which, of course, annoyed me.
• Betsey was bossy and called me a brat & snot quite often.
• My mom always took my cd player downstairs to play classical music and this apparently disturbed me to a great extent.
• I ever so creatively decided to name my first diary (2nd-4th grade) "Die-Die" . . . how precious.
• I strongly believed my mom's living was to interrupt and I felt it unreasonable she always told me to get ready for bed first just because I was the youngest (how dare she!)
• I once was so angry that all I wanted to do was yell and scream until I didn't have a voice anymore but held back for fear my mom would put me in an insanity hospital. So I moved on.

ahhhh, memories...

filling my current boredom

1. Where were you an hour ago? downstairs watching days of our lives ... sam may be carrying ej's baby but she had to sleep with him to save lucas, who she is about to marry... what will happen?!
2. Who will be your next kiss? no boys 2007, remember?
3?
4. Are you wearing socks right now? it's way too cold to not be!! and they are black & white argyles...only the best.
5. When was the last time you went out of the state?went to new york and new jersey just this past weekend!
6. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? I don't have that kind of money
7. What was the last thing you had to drink? diet sunkist... the best soda creation yet
8. What are you wearing right now? jeans of course as well as a pink shirt soon to be followed by my pink boys & girls club t-shirt that is 10x too big
9. What was your last purchase? alcohol
10. Last food you ate? trail mix...I'm still waiting for the trail mix company to make one without the freakin raisins - terrible food.
11. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? jess right after I passed "the freshman" from high school when I was driving home from the gym haha
12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? surpringly no
13. Do you have a pet? doggies beaux-jangles, lucky (still lamenting over the death of his mother maggie) & sadie (special ed.), cat k.c (kim's cat...terrible animal) ...... & the spirits of dog winston, hamster peanut (ate its own shit) kitty pumpkin (bulimic...we often referred to her as calista...& had bladder control issues), dog maggie (underwent a harsh death via the front tire of a minivan) & fish jesus (died in the care of my dad & lynn), lizard pebbles (anorexic ... refused to eat the crickets).
14. What's the last sporting event you watched? St. Patty's Day drinking
15. How much sex have you had in the past week? i like betsey's answer: gasp! that's awfully forward of you
16. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? somewhere warm!
17. What is the last thing you purchased online? my gazelle (tony little style obv)!!
18. One thing you hate about yourself? my knee that refuses to get any better and probably having to soon return to physical therapy round 98347523
19. What's your favorite soup?: progresso chicken noodle or tomato basil or new england clam chowder in a bread bowl
20. Do you miss anyone? my sisters and brother
21. Last play you saw? uhhhh... one of the plays we had to go see for credit in my intro. to theatre class sophomore year probably?
22. What are your plans for the day? to not peg any kids in the forehead during dodgeball at work
23. Ever go to camp? slamma jamma, uconn bball camp (edmond saunders SO hot), fairfield vball camp, dartmouth elite lax camp...that's right, 'elite'
25. Were you an honor roll student in school? obv... I cared way too much about school back in those days - prob would have cried if I didn't make honor roll (yes, i was that girl)
26. What do you want to know about the future? when my car is going to break down so that I can be prepared to buy another
27. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? my fav...puma
28. Where are your best friends located? I've got one about 10 miles away... the others are all too far away unfortch
29. Do you have a tan? the benefit of belonging to a gym that has tanning included
30. How old do you want to be when you have kids? 28ish for the first one then we'll see how that goes haha
31. Last person who made you cry? not techincally a person, but something about my dad
32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? 8 piercings & I'll never get a tattoo
32. Have you ever drank your soda pop from a straw? straws are fun
33. How do you like your soda pop? I enjoy diet 'soda pop'
34. Do you like hot sauce? no thank you
35. Next time you'll take a shower? tomorrow morning
36. What is your mood? blahh
38. Are you someone’s best friend? as far as I know
39.What do you want for valentine's day? that's a long time away right now
40. What are you doing right now? watching american idol of course

A message brought to you by yours truly

"If you can't handle me at my worst,
Then you don't deserve me at my best."

I'm thinking of making 2007 a ''no time for guys'' year...
No tears.
No drama.
No bullshit.
No complications.
No mess to clean up.
No one to break my trust.
No reason to feel used or betrayed.
No wanting to pound my head into a rock.
No cause to get my hopes up for what will just fall through anyways.

I'm a simple girl who doesn't ask for much other than some respect, honesty, & attention... those three items makes Elaine a happy girl and we all like when Elaine is happy don't we. You treat me nicely means I treat you nicely. Simple, right? But I know that probably seems like A LOT for all of you to handle but there's gotta be someone who can live up to those extremely high expectations. In my unfortunate experience, guys have been far more complicated than I have ever been. So, please, just calm yourselves down before entering into my life. I thank you in advance.

1st Grade Nonsense

Now coming from East Lyme there is not a whole lot of diversity. I believe we had 5, maybe 6, students of African descent/darkened skin/you're still an American in our entire high school - and 2 of them were twins. The elementary school I am working at, on the other hand, is quite different. The minority is clearly those of lighter skin, such as myself. The first day I worked there they all went down the line introducing themselves to me. Now let me tell you there were a lot of names with q's and such. Some of the girls' names: Star, Giselle, LaQuanda... Some of the boys' names: Elahn, DeVON (said with emphasis on the -von), Jose, Dante, Elijah, Enrico, Shaquan, Alberto... annnnd I'm still working on mastering the other 40 kids' names. They're so innocent yet such devils at the same time always trying to get away with what they can the second you turn away.

I was placed in charge of the little runts known as 1st graders the past 2 days. Most of the time I am busy yelling "hey, why are you outta your chair" "Yes, I'll take you to the bathroom" "hey you, tie your shoe" "excuse me I was talking" "keep your hands to yourself" "why did you do that" "hey, where do you think you're going" "you wrote your 4 backwards" "NO" etc etc etc. But the kids really make me laugh thinking they can get away with things, but I, for one, feel fortunate enough to have large eyes that tend to dig into the person staring at them.

For example, without even realizing my eyes had become large (and the light that you shine can be seen, BABAYYYY...cue Seal) this little girl, Raven, says to me ever so slowly and without pronouncing any of her r's, "Miss Elaine, can you never open your eyes that big ever again...they're scary."

And she didn't act up the rest of the time. I win.

Things I Hate

Jess recently did this and, like she was at the time, I am in a hating, foul mood:

• drivers who ride my ass when I'm already going over the speed limit and perhaps then proceed to pass me in a no-passing zone... you really aren't going to get there that much faster
• Peeps, the terrible Easter marshmallow nastiness
• rich kids that drive around the car that 'daddy got me' and are going to the most expensive school but partying all the time because they don't have to worry about loans or getting out of school and finding a good job
• deer - terrible animal
• minivans and the dads who drive them really fast when their kids aren't in the car - yeah, rev that engine hottie
• drivers who don't turn off their brights when coming towards me - I have sensitive eyes!
• people who facebook everyone they meet just so they can have 12987546 friends
• the girls on 'My Sweet 16' and Spencer on 'The Hills' because he always looks like he's smiling when he talks - way too much teeth action going on
• working out but not getting quick results
• disorganization, no matter what it is... desk, kitchen, bedroom, car
• being tired but not being able to fall asleep
• all the emo pictures girls take of themselves for their myspace/facebook
• my knee not getting any better despite my efforts
• hearing people bicker about the most pointless things
• when my laptop decides to shut off on me or just not function in general, which is basically every day
• when I find out a guy lied to me or "didn't lie" but just didn't tell the truth
• goldschlager and rum ... both cause the same result and you do not want to be present when that happens
• when people don't look at both sides of a situation, especially within the media i.e. Iraq
• how politicians spend millions to win the election in which they lie throughout the entire campaign just so they can win when they could be spending that money on feeding the malnourished, housing the homeless, paying for health care for those without insurance or who cannot afford it, or toward some form of scientific research
• how the first place to lose weight from and last to gain weight in is your boobs... very unfortch in my case
• living in a materialistic society
• when people litter and/or don't recycle... I'm not a tree hugger but honestly, it's so simple to do and it saves earth's resources etc etc I'm not going to go into dork mode right now
• when people misspell - I'm not saying I'm the brightest crayon in the box but I'm talking middle school possibly elementary school grammar here
• cancer
  
  

Just One More Hour

Bored and couldn't sleep and didn't have much to write about soo survey it is
...oh, and happy valentine's day

1. Hi, my name is...
Laaaainerrrr

2. Never in my life have I...
gone sky diving

3. The one person who can drive me nuts is...
BernBern, but only the way she talks on the phone or when she's telling a story and giving all the details that are not necessary such as what the exact time was when ohhh ummmm shoot can't remember his name hmmm what is his name?! oh shoot well anyway... Other than that, I love that girl.

4. High school was...
better than I realized

5. When I'm nervous...
My palms get sweaty and my voice shakes and my leg bounces up and down

6. The last time I cried was...
last night

7. If I were to get married right now my wedding party would be...
I want a big wedding so: Betsey, Allison, Jess, Jill, Carrie, Lindsey, & Erin

8. My hair is...
annoying me.

9. When I was 5....
I was climbing trees and making forts and running between my 2 boyfriends houses

10. Last Christmas....
I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it awayyy - only heard this song about 1000 times working at bbdubs

11. I should be...
trying to get some sleep but that'd be kind of pointless now since I have to get up in an hour

12. When I look down I see...
my dog snoozing at the end of my bed

13. The craziest recent event was...
not so crazy but I got the flu... I've never had it before!!

14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be...
Monica...because she's organized of course

15. By this time next year, I will...
Hypothetically...be happily back in school & have a plan for where I'm going with my life

16. My current gripe is...
the word gripe

17. I have a hard time understanding...
big words

18. There's this girl I know who...
loves gin buckets

19. You know I like you when...
I explain that my resting face doesn't mean I am actually a bitch

20. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be...
any member of my family

21. Take my advice..
don't take anything for granted because it'll come back and slap you in the face

22. My most wanted item is...
a new car and/or laptop

23. If you visited the place I was born...
you would be in our historic "city" of New London...home of the courthouse where the trial of the Amistad took place weeeeeeeeeee

24. I plan to visit...
The ITH, Hoboken, Vermont, Madrid, UConn, New Haven...

25. If you spent the night at my house...
you'd be really cold. we like to live in the arctic

26. I'd stop my wedding if...
my husband doesn't cry when I walk down the aisle hahaaa

27. The world could do without...
extremists

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than...
die?

29. Most recent thing I've bought myself...
black boots with some snazzy gems from Baker's on sale from $100 down to $27!!!

30. Most recent thing someone else bought me.
some alcoholic beverages

31. My favorite blonde is...
care-care and lnicks obv

32. My favorite brunette is...
myself :)

33. My evening plans include...
hopefully making it home from hartford in the snow/ice

34. My middle name is...
Katherine...eh

35. This morning I...
am going to be spending a lot of time waiting

36. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are...
pigs

37. Once, at a casino...
I won $100 on a free spin!

38. Last night I was...
curled up in fetal posish wondering whyyyy meeeee bc I was still feeling sick

39. There's this guy I know who...
has gotten me to appreciate poker a little bit - imagine that!

40. I don't know...
much of anything really

41. A better name for me would be...
I like the uniqueness that has come out of my name...Lanye, Lainers, Lainey, EEEEElaine

42. Tomorrow I am...
driving up to hartford at 4am for the day and possibly the night

43. my birthday is...
april 13th - mark it!

44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is...
for everything to be okay

Breakthrough Weight-Loss Plan!

...get the flu

all 'lil thug could do was cry, cry, why'd they kill my dog? damn man I miss my Uncle Charles y'all

I don't know what it is about this song, but I have always loved it. My friends have often witnessed me singing along to it complete with my very own choreography. My basketball team in high school even had this song played as I walked onto the court on senior night. Perhaps it's the old school ghettoness. Maybe it's the creepy video. Or maybe it's trying to figure out what exactly it is they are saying and then feeling somewhat accomplished when you do. Either way, it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Amputation, perhaps?

Having an injury that lasts more than 2 years is the most frustrating thing. You know it's a real good sign when even your physical therapist of the past 5 years says there's nothing he can do anymore. It is so incredibly difficult to go from being somewhat of a standout athlete to being a cripple/gimp/question if you could qualify for a handicap sticker. Feels pretty fabulous. Anytime I bend my leg past 30 degrees means that I am in pain. Now, can anyone tell me what I can do that doesn't bend my leg past that?! RAR. Don't ever take having the ability to run, ski, hike, walk, go up/down stairs, or exercise in any shape or form for granted because I most definitely did at one point in my life.

Ohhh Betsey Take II

What I had to deal with beforehand: Exhibit A

Exhibit B
After cleaning out her bottom drawer this is what was left
She used to think her stuffed animals would suffocate if not placed in the open
Therefore, this was her idea of keeping them safe

My idea of safe-keeping

After Day 2 - all trash

Cleaning off her desk:

My family will never have to buy hangers again

Ahhh what a closet should look like :)

Organization, organization, organization!

Aww so pretty!

Look at that masterpiece!

If she messes it up, I will scream/punch/kill

The hallway after all was said and done

I of course decided to have a fashion show using some of Betsey's

quote-unquote fashionable items

yayyy jumpers for grown-ups!!
Loving the cargo pants

Oversized overalls were always a must

And of course for warm weather as well

J. Lo?

Going on a safari

Because who doesn't want a XXXL sweatshirt?

Mooooooo!

A few other items that I came across in my final moments:

• a rubber chicken that squawks upon pressing in its belly
• 2 more keys which gives a total of 7
• $43.97 in pure change...all coins...lots of silver and also a hefty pile of foreign change...Euros or something like that
• 3 cameras - 1 old school, 1 disposable, & 1 digital

On a final note, my heart goes out to Alfonso & Salva as they are the ones who are currently enduring living with this mess of a human being. If you should ever feel the need to cry, yell, or kick her out, we completely understand.

Ohhh, Betsey

This is my sister: attractive, intelligent (graduated from Holy Cross & then proceeded to get her Master's from Middlebury), funny, and one of my best friends. However, our ideas of organization differ quite greatly i.e. her way of cleaning up is quickly kicking things under her bed or dresser and stuffing items into any drawer that still has space. This is the same girl who did not even make her bed before going back to Spain (she was home for 2 weeks around Christmas and spends the rest of the year in Madrid). I often feel bad for Allison, my stepsister, who has to share a room with this beast..and I of course mean beast in the nicest terms possible. Now that I am home and I am known as the organized child (I somehow find satisfaction in being organized), my mom decided to offer to pay me to clean out Betsey's room. Now, I knew that it was going to be a project, but after just cleaning under her bed and 1/2 her closet and I already had 2 garbage bags full, I realized just how big of a process this was going to be. Here are some of the things I came across:

• 2 pairs of cow patterned slippers: 1 with just black and white spots & 1 with the full body and head complete with a cowbell
• several pairs of overalls (she was quite the avid wearer back in her day)
• my richard simmons shirt mixed in a bag filled with 2 hideous old shirts, an empty tampon box, multiple receipts, & a black shield of some sorts
• cabbage patch doll mangled in her blue velvet gym suit in the bottom corner of her closet
• tags from every piece of new clothing she must have bought along with the annoying little plastic thingies that are impossible to pick up off a flat surface
• a tampon in seriously every bag & drawer
• Timberland boots that were bought for her URI trip back in m 7th grade ... with no laces in either shoe
• Many over-sized sweatpants and sweatshirts
• HEINOUS sweaters from such places as the Weathervane circa her 8th and 9th grade years
• random plastic bags from stores that were clearly necessary to keep around all these years
• clothing in every crevice possible
• blackmail-type photos of both herself and myself from many a-year ago
• terrible army green straight-legged cargo pants
• nail polish (she never wears any)
• 3 screwdrivers & a hammer
• thread & a thimble for all those times she sews
• an EL basketball all-stars t-shirt that clearly cannot be hers as she once "took the ball in" from the baseline by simply walking...no pass, not even a dribble... and that story would be cute if she hadn't been in middle school at the time it occurred.
• my senior picture carelessly stored away in the bottom of a suitcase removed from her closet (*tear) and yet another in her top drawer mixed in with her socks & underwear... apparently she got 2
• 3 inhalers (she had to use mine when she was home because she couldn't find hers)
• an entire collection of pictures, magazine articles, and collectibles revolving around none other than THE Leonardo DiCaprio circa Titanic era
• a fine key chain collection
• 3 nearly full boxes of envelopes - a consequence most likely due to her not being able to find any when she needed them and therefore had to buy more
• More cow-themed accessories than you would ever like to own or could even imagine be owned by any individual (scarves, bandannas, cards, pictures, socks, pens to name a few)
• a Dannon yogurt still full in her backpack that she used while attending Holy Cross... about 2 years ago (it's at this point that I questioned if I should take a couple shots of vodka and then proceed to wear latex gloves because that is just nasty)
• 5 keys, 2 of which are exactly the same (my missing key?)

I don't no whether to commend her on being able to survive in this lifestyle of hers or to be severely concerned. I've never seen a girl more prepared with tampons, gum (trident, wrigley's doublemint, winterfresh, big red, orbit, juicy fruit), & sugar packets. 3 bags of salvation army clothing, 9 (NINE!) garbage bags, and multiple sneezing attacks later, her room is complete. Books are on her bookshelf (go figure), her dresser is organized by type of clothing, you can actually open her closet and she even has access to clothing and shoes that still fit her! She will be able to find things in her desk for probably the first time in her life.

About 2 hours into my organizing, I couldn't believe the things I was finding and the state her room was in, so I decided to have a little fun and document it just to show her ridiculousness. Those pictures will surely follow :)

Being Yourself

So here's to being who you want to be.
and dressing how you want to dress.
and blasting your music.
and dancing along.
and not being afraid to laugh at yourself.
and trying something new.
and falling in love.
and making new friends.
and being ridiculous.
and going crazy.
and dancing in the rain.
Here's to being yourself.

The Deer Chronicles

Having been a vegetarian for nearly 3 years, I really don't dislike too many animals. My family all knows I hate K.C., the cat who is just old and mean, but I can at least deal with him. What I can't deal with, however, is the sight of deer. It brings back one of the most traumatic events of my life and I honestly despise that animal. Now if you didn't know, I happened to kill a deer a couple of years ago. I was driving the 2.5 miles on the deserted road from my mom's house to my dad's house one night. I had pretty much just gotten onto the road and was singing along to Evanescence's song with the lyrics "And these wounds won't seem to heal...this pain is just too real"... I had probably just hit 45 mph when 2 deer ran out in front of my beloved Mazda. The first one escaped its death but the second one...well, let's just say it wasn't so lucky. Upon seeing the 2nd deer fly through the air off to the right somewhere I was slamming on my brakes and pulled to the side of the road screaming and hyperventilating and of course crying hysterically. Once I got a semi-hold of myself where I could at least talk, I called my dad where he probably could only understand "hit" and "deer" because I definitely didn't have a grip on things at all. As I waited there on the side of the road with the deer somewhere behind me (I couldn't bare to glance at the damaged deer) and the first deer that led the second one to its death (yeah, that's right, it was that first deer's fault) was lurking somewhere in the woods probably about to attack me, I thought maybe I should check out how bad Mazda is looking. So I peer up from my shrunken state over the steering wheel and all I see is this white puff of deer hair sticking straight out of my hood. I immediately began screaming and hyperventilating again...I probably should have used my inhaler. That night I couldn't fall asleep because every time I closed my eyes I just saw the deer giving me its last glance as I pounded the shit out of it a split second later. I found out a couple months later that the police officer had to shoot the poor deer since it was nearing its death anyways. I feel as though I am probably scarred for life as it is 3 years later now and I still scream as if I may have just hit a young child.

Two years later, after many deer sightings and slammed brakes and inhaler-provoked moments, I was once again driving from my mom's house to my dad's house somewhere around the hours of midnight and 1am. I once again had just gotten to about 45 mph when I slam on my brakes because at the same exact spot I hit that deer, there are 3 deer standing around, like a fucking memorial service. One actually jumps the stone wall and runs off but the other 2 just stare me down. I come to a complete stop and then begin to crawl on by at about 2 mph all the while expecting one of them to come charging at me. I begin to whimper because I am pretty much a basketcase when it comes to deer. Then of course a car comes up behind me flashing its pretty little lights into all my mirrors blinding me and having absolutely no idea what I had once again just been through - the scream, the racing heart, the tears, the I HATE DEER frustration...

Anyways, I'm hoping, perhaps, just maybe, in the near future, I might be able to maintain my composure upon the sight of that ugly, horrid four-legged, look-at-the-lights-coming-at-you-and-don't-bother-moving animal.

The Office

I've never had to really prepare myself for a job interview. Every summer I'd go around to every restaurant that was possibly hiring filling out an application and if they called, great, then I had a job for those 2-3 months. I've never actually had to worry about what to wear or what I was going to say. Today, however, clad in my black pants, collared shirt, sweater, and black stilettos, I arrived to my job interview at the same office building that just so happens to be my dad's old office building where my brother, sister, & I would spastically run around asking my dad for 35 cents so we could get yet another soda out of the old fashioned soda machine. The same office that my young dad took his diaper-wearing child (aka me circa 1987) for a relaxing day of work one Saturday only to be stuck dealing with the mess I decided to leave when my diaper didn't quite work out. Anywho, hair straightened (and probably nearly fried), lip gloss on, and palms sweaty, I headed in having absolutely no idea what to expect. Trying to act as professional as my 20 (and 8 months) year old self can be, I made my way to the office and was dismayed to find that the old soda machine no longer existed. Nonetheless I met my interviewers and sat down to find that I was not going to be asked the less than 5 questions I was hoping for or that I am perhaps used to, but to be answering lengthy questions with lengthy replies that actually involved formulating sentences and paragraphs all while trying to subconsciously tell myself not to say "um" or "uh" and to avoid my habit of connecting every phrase with "and" so as to make one gigantic run-on sentence.

• Tell me about yourself and why you decided to apply.
• It says that you have experience working in a dr's office, please explain.
• What is your greatest strength?
• What is your biggest weakness?
• Describe yourself and how you are as a team player.
• What type of people do you find you don't like?
• In dealing with patients over the phone at the dr's office, what bothered you the most? And how did you react to it?
• Describe your typical day in the office and what duties you had.
• What type of computer experience do you have?
• In the dr's office, did they have a scheduling program and how did it work?
• Describe a situation in which you had to multitask and prioritize.
• How do you keep yourself organized?
• What do you do with tasks that you don't like to do?

Just a glimpse of what those 45 minutes were filled with. AND THEN, they decided to whip out a script they had kept hidden the entire time like a teacher announcing a pop quiz in which I had to call one of my interviewers who briefly returned to his office and remind him of his appointment. Now, I would have been happier if my interviewer's last name wasn't Ciszewski. Those sz's always throw me off not to mention should the C be pronounced like a K or like an S?! By turn of luck, I actually pronounced it right (I know, go me).

I am actually really hoping for this job but I won't find out for 10 days since they have to make sure I'm not a serial killer or anything of the such. Until then, I'll continue my tv dates and starbucks dates with my bestest.

Friends & Football

A true friend is one that will get up at 5am in order to pick up her other friend at 6am to make it to L&M by 7am in forecasted freezing rain and icy roads, sit in the waiting room for 60+ minutes and eat hospital food, just so said friend, who is perhaps a little nervous, can get an mri. Love you JeJeBoo

On another note, I am very upset that the Patriots lost to the Colts (and Peyton Manning...rar)who acquired the new record of completing the biggest comeback in a championship game. Fabulous. On the other hand, I still have daaaaaaaaa bears to cheer on... but they're not as awesome as the Pats (sorry Linds).

Still Christmas

We are officially the last house in the neighborhood with christmas lights still up. As pretty as they are and as much as I absolutely love Christmas, they've gotta go. I'm somewhat embarrassed to be that family. The past couple of nights I've almost been tempted to just not turn on our outdoor lights since they're all connected. And yet, I don't think my mom and stepdad are all that bothered by it. It'll probably be February before we finally take them down. Then again, I don't know why I'm surprised - my mom never took down the fake mini-tree we put up in our living room at all last year. Christmas all year round here! Candles still in the window, lights still all lit up outside, christmas tree in the living room, garland on the stair railing, christmas decor all over the house... Yep, we're that family.

Time on My Hands

I've decided to take on this blogging thing. With taking time off from school I figure I'll have plenty of time to write down the randomness that occurs in my life - although things that piss me off will probably take priority. I've gotten the feeling that a lot of people think I just kind of go with the flow of life. On the contrary (and as my family and close friends all know) I have a lot to say. I'm not guaranteeing anything profound, though. So take a gander :)